"I carefully replaced a tube of preparation H with Ben Gay and gave it to a friend of mine to go over and swap out my ex-husband's Preparation H tube with. I figured a pain in the ass deserves a pain in the ass!"

- Crystal

"I made a fake H.I.V. test showing positive results for my ex-girlfriend and showed it to all of the guys I knew that she slept with!"

- Josh

"I told Calista Flockhart that she looked fat."

- Dan

"Put gay bumper stickers all over an ex-boyfriend's car."

- Kim

"Once this in a wheel chair was complaining to me about how horrible life is, and blah blah blah. This annoyed me. So, I told her that she gave a bad name to handicapped people."

- Ronaldo

"It all started when I was in middle school. I walked down the street to my best friend's house for a Super Tecmo Bowl showdown! (old Nintendo game) Much to my surprise when I arrived, his mother was watching another child who wento to school with us. He was mentally challenged to say the least. Just after I arrived his mom received a call and had to leave for just a "few minutes" we were told. Before we knew it we were watching Doug (the retard) without a clue as to what to do or say to him. After a couple of the most awkward moments of my life Doug muttered "Ny'm weawy tirsty" After repeating this several times we realized he was asking for something to drink. So we took him over to the refrigerator and decided on pouring him a glass of milk. However, the gallon of milk container looked more like a tub of cottage cheese! Doug again said something like "das no goowd, is bhad." To this very day I'm not sure why, but I began to explain to Doug that this was a new semi-solid milk. It included all the protein one would need for a meal let alone a glass of milk. After a few more minutes of convincing Doug was ready to dive right in the glass of chunky milk we had just poured him. Before we could even have a change of heart Doug had taken the glass (of the worst smellling substance I've ever encountered in a glass) and chugged it all. Doug then turned to us both and made the most horrifying face I had ever seen and limped over to the sink where he began to vomit profusely. About this time is when my friend's mother returned home only to find us in the kitchen with Doug. We owned up to what we had done. I was expecting to be sent home and a call be made to my mother and Vernon was expecting some sort of groundation. When she picked up the phone I was sure it was a phone call to directly to my parents, but she only dialed 3 numbers! The next thing I knew there were paramedics with a gurney running through the house and strapping Doug down. It turns out he was severely lactose intollerant and the milk was so spoiled it was if he had directly injested poison into his system. Needless to say I was punished severely and I will never forget the day I almost killed a retard!"

- Edward